Wow... A Year... and in a valley

This post is for T, Al, Janet, Aunt Colleen, Joe, Dan, Andrea, and others I'm certain I'm forgetting.

I wasn't planning on posting... but I had several comments this weekend and last week about my it having been a year since I posted. So, at the very least, I could do something to refresh my blog. ha.

A lot has happened in a year. I've done a lot of things I've always wanted to do, and things I never thought about, but thoroughly enjoyed doing. I've said minor good-bye to friends as they have moved and gotten married. I've said good-bye to my brother as he deployed to Iraq (and I'm waiting to pick him up at the airport now for his R&R!). And God has brought new friends into my life through some interesting times. Friends who I never would have had in my life had if I hadn't taken certain risks that lead to interesting times.

And late this summer, I began to hit some rough times. I knew I was not going to the Lord to be my all-in-all. My adventures of the summer didn't fill me. My friends didn't fill me. And God, in His kindness even removed some of my friends from me (marriage, moving). But, what a good God. He sent me to the valley. But not alone. Not with out Him, and not with out my Care Group at church and not with out new, faithful friends who were ready to tell me when I was going into self-pity.

I missed my brother horribly. I missed my moved and married friends horribly. My care group leader said that I was in a valley, and that one day, I would love the valley because I would learn to draw near to God and see Him in a new way. My "surrogate mom" encouraged me to read through the Psalms. My good friend and accountability partner encouraged me to begin journaling.

It has been six months. And after six months, I'm still in the valley. And I love the valley. It isn't easy. But by His grace, I'm slowly learning how to go to Him. Looking back at my journal entries of the last six months, I see a common theme... "Lord, I need you... Help me to see it! Help me!"

Maybe I'm coming out of the valley. I hope not. I've never been in more love with my Savior and more aware of my need for Him. I need Jesus. I want Jesus. And I'm so thankful He chose me and saved me.

And though I'm am incredibly excited to see my brother today, I was crying in the shower this morning... not because I get to see Stephen after seven months of being apart. I was crying because one day I get to see Jesus. And if I'm this excited to hug and kiss my brother, I cannot imagine what it will be like to see my Savior. What a day that will be!