Living the Dream

A colleague (#1) of mine used that phrase a few months ago to describe another colleague (#2). All of us who were at the table laughed. Then, another colleague said, "Wait, what does that mean? How is colleague #2 'living the dream'?"

The rest of us chuckled. Colleague #1 said, "We each had an image pop into our minds of what it meant for #2." The rest of us agreed. We each had a humorous image of what it meant for #2 to be "living the dream."

This past week I've been more prayerful on my walks into work. (Perhaps this is because I've been oversleeping and missing my morning QT because I've been running myself ragged. So, I've missed my normal times with God... but by His grace, I've been able to steal away at lunch time and have a QT. Not optimal, but enjoyable to be refreshed midday.)

The predominating thought is that I'm living the dream. My predominating prayer was thanking God for the life He has given me and how He continues to stretch me. I also found another prayer of thanksgiving entering my heart stronger than it ever has been -- thanking the Lord for my singleness.

Really thanking Him. I'm sure if I had a husband and children, I'd be regularly thanking the Lord for them as well. But, I don't, so I can't. And I'm okay with this. It doesn't mean that I don't desire these things, but by the grace of God, my desire for the Lord has increased. I've seen the doors the Lord has opened for me to serve -- doors that wouldn't be possible, for the most part, for me to walk through if I was married. My priorities would be different (and that is okay, they should be if I was married!) in where I serve.

I'm sure that I will struggle at various moments with singleness, as I typically do. But, those moments seem to be happening less and less as I encounter the Lord more and more.

I don't want to assume that "oh, I'm good and content with my singleness." But, I've seen since the beginning of December that this is true. Here is part of an email I sent a friend of mine back in December (edited):

I haven't blogged about this, because it is sorta awkward. I'm in a season of singleness that I'm pretty pleased about. I suppose if someone was interested in me, I would get some council and consider things. But, for now, I'm the best I've ever been with being single. It has been pretty freeing, actually. Not worried about marriage, etc.

It has been pretty neat working with my teen gals and using the Word to explain what it means to be single. If God promises to not withhold any good thing from me -- then I can know in faith that I can most actively and productively glorify God as a single woman. Doesn't mean it will never change. But, it has been wonderful.

In some ways, I'm back to where I started 10 years ago when I was career focused, ministry focused. Except this time (hopefully!!!!) I understand a bit more how to do in with Biblical Femininity. Not the feminist views I had before.

Sorta humorous to me that God had to teach me about Biblical Femininity, have me desire marriage, all to teach me how to be a godly woman in the market place. So, yes, I still do desire marriage, but for now, that is not what God has for me. I'll still read about marriage and seek to apply key things I've learned in ways appropriate, but now, I'm preparing to be single.

Rereading that email today brings thanksgiving to my lips again. Thank you, Lord for your mercies and grace in helping me to be content. In helping me to be more than content. In helping me to run hard after you.

I'm not perfect in it. There are moments of intense struggle. (Camping is intense too. Think about it. Say it out loud if you have to.)

Last night I had a very clear practical reminder that I was living the dream. The family I love to babysit for gave me flowers, chocolate, and each child wrote a Valentine's card for me. My heart and my eyes overflow. They are the reason I'm single. I get to babysit for them and love them and be a part of their lives. The teens are the reason I'm single. I get to talk to them, pray with them, be friends with them. My work is the reason I'm single. I get to regularly encourage and be encouraged by certain coworkers. I get to share the good news of Jesus with others. My family is the reason I'm single. I get to drop everything and help. I get to enjoy priceless moments of laughter and love in the daily routine of life. My church is why I'm single. (A joke could be inserted here about the lack of men my age... haha.) I get to serve in ways I never would imagine, constantly. My God is why I'm single. I'm not living my dream. I'm trying to live His.